It was just after midnight and she worked her way to the kitchen to see if she could find something, anything, to eat. The contents of her refrigerator were bleak, at best. Piles of takeout were strewn about and she sighed as she checked the freezer. Ice cream. Ice cream would help. She pulled out a pint of Ben & Jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough and fished around for a clean spoon. There was only one left and she looked in the dishwasher to see that she really needed to run it so she did. It really only happened when she was close to running out anyway.

She moved back into the living room and she sat down with her ice cream and something… felt funny. It was almost as though she was sitting on something and she moved around to help move whatever it was out of her way. She finally found it with her free hand and pulled to move it and she felt a tug hurt her. That kind of tug that shouldn’t have hurt her so much because there was nothing that was there that could. It wasn’t until she looked down and she saw a tail that she started to freaking out.

She jumped off the couch and, thankfully, set her ice cream on the coffee table in front of her. Why did she have a tail? “Okay, Dani. Okay. It’s okay.” She tried to calm herself down but there was nothing to calm down because this didn’t make any sense. Maybe if she inspected the tail it would make sense. But when she went to grab it it still didn’t make any sense. It seemed like she was some sort of… rodent thing. Squirrel. She was familiar with them since she fed a lot of them in the park. This had to be some sort of drunken dream so she closed her eyes and pinched her arm, hard. “Ouch.” Ouch, why would you do that? Oh great, the voices were in her head now full on. That’s awesome.

She thought about calling Whitney for a second and seeing what the hell was going on. If anyone could help her it would be her best friend. Maybe she was some sort of woodland creature too but that wouldn’t make any sense. The headache was now piercing through her and she ran to her bedroom for a second so she could look at the whole tail situation in the full length mirror. That would help. It had too because this was too damn freaky and her ice cream was going to melt. The priorities that she had were outstanding.

She turned on the light and realized there was something on her bed, some kind of outfit that Dani didn’t recognize but this voice in her head did. Yay! “Shut up.” She went over to touch it and she was so confused but she had read enough comics in her day to know who this outfit belonged to. “Squirrel Girl?” HIYA! “Oh Jesus Christ.” She turned around to look the mirror and her thoughts were confirmed when she saw the tail; big, bushy and beautiful. You can make that butt look reeeaal good. “No. No. Full stop” Stop your complaining. We are going to have so much fun! “This can’t be real life.” You pinched yourself and it worked. Pretty sure it’s totally real, girlfriend. Where’s that ice cream. I want some too.